Comparing Notes

I can’t help but compare my situation to other people. I hated it when my mom did this while I was growing up. She constantly compared me to her friends’ children. Her reasoning was that it would motivate me to strive to better myself. I don’t think it really worked.

Now, I’m comparing my situation when I started as a graduate student in my current group.

Stipend

 I compare how much my stipend was when I started… it was $1500/month as a graduate research assistant. Initially, I was okay with this since I made the assumption that the other 4 graduate students in the group made the same. Au contraire, mon ami! After about 6 months into it, I found out I was receiving the least amount with one other graduate student. Coincidently, this other student is Indian and I was mistaken as Indian for almost a year by my adviser and other European group mates. Should it matter if I was Indian? No. But maybe it did to them (and that is a post for another time). The other 2 graduate students were making at least $2000/month and one of them was about one semester ahead of me. I intended to bring this up to my adviser after the academic year (contract) ended, but he told me he would bump me to $2000/month. I know that he only raised my stipend because a post doc that I worked closely with came to bat for me often. I am grateful for this post doc still.

So what is the new starting stipend in the group? It’s anywhere from $2000 to $2500. It all depends on who you are. When one of the current graduate students started (he was a former undergraduate in the group), the adviser tried very hard to convince the post docs that this graduate student deserved $2000 instead of the $1500 (which at the time, the same Indian grad student was still making). The Indian grad student was able to operate equipment and perform experiments by himself, while the new grad student could not (even after doing 3 years as an undergraduate researcher). By the way, why did he need to convince other people? Unless he knew deep down this was fucked up.

Now, a new graduate student is starting next week, and she is getting a $2000 stipend. Nevermind that her bachelor’s degree has no overlap to the research we conduct, while mine did.

Big welcome to the group

When I joined a few years ago, I did not know anyone in the group — like most people who start in a research group at other universities. But this was highly unusual here. All the post docs (at the time) had all previously worked with the adviser years before, one of the grad students came from the adviser’s old group. Another grad student was already a grad student in the department for years before he switched advisers.

Looking back, the first few months in the group were tough for me. I remember my first day where I wandered to the lab and waited outside. I had sent emails to the adviser saying I was showing up before the start of the semester and they were still surprised when I was at the lab door. No one bothered to ask if the office was equipped. I had to buy my own ethernet cable and power strips at the local Fry’s. I brought in my private laptop regularly (and I still do). The adviser often told me he would support any computer-related purchases for me, but the member responsible for purchasing was non-cooperative (this is the same jerk from the email shrouds post). I was able to use an external monitor at the office because the post doc gave up his own (well, he got a new shiny one).

Now, the new grad student is sharing my office (which I share with another undergraduate). I came into the office Thursday morning noticing that something was out of place. Someone (I assume the adviser, or the emailing post doc) had asked the undergraduate to move his seat at a particular desk. I didn’t know that was a premium desk reserved for a graduate student. Other things set up for her arrival… the adviser already ordered the grad student (in charge of the group website) to add her to the page. Luckily, I will be out of town for the first part of next week so I will miss out on any other red-carpet events.

And maybe you think I am imagining things? Well, this sort of thing happens to post docs that join this group.

The current most-senior post doc started about 2.5 years ago. He graduated from another group in the US, and he himself is foreign (but not of the same continent that the adviser is from). That post doc and the adviser must have discussed his starting date because at one point, boxes from this post doc started arriving to the lab about a few weeks before his arrival. And when he finally got here? No one (the more senior people) had even thought about where his desk or office would be. The desk had to be hauled from university surplus that week. And computer needs? He didn’t get an adviser-bought computer until this time last year.

To contrast with a post doc that started last year. Days before his arrival, we (grad students) were asked to arrange/clean an office and set up a computer for his arrival. Within a few weeks of his arrival, he received a new laptop purchased by the adviser’s grants.

So what’s the difference between senior post doc and last year post doc? From appearances, the last year post doc came from the adviser’s old group, is of the same nationality and ethnicity, too. The senior post doc is US-educated (which the adviser looks down upon), and is from another continent. They both have Ph.D.’s in the same field as the adviser. What’s the difference between me and the new grad student? We are both female. I am not white, she is. I was mistaken for Indian. I have a bachelor’s in engineering from another university, she has bachelor’s in another physical science from here. Then you can ask maybe the funding situation is substantially different 4 years ago that the stipend can start higher? The funding is about the same as it was 4 years ago.

Anyway, I am constantly aware of how the adviser has treated me and others over the years. There’s not much that I can do about it. Maybe a lesson on how not to run a group?

Email Shroud

I’m guilty of sending late night emails from time to time, and I typically do not judge the time stamp on emails that I receive. Emails that are urgent, important, and/or time sensitive – I will send at any time whether it be 2 pm or 1:35 am. Typically, these involve documents that I have to send to collaborators or bosses in a different time zone. For instance, my (potential) future postdoctoral adviser (FPA) is in the east coast, and I’d rather send my FPA the latest draft of a proposal when I’m finished with it for the day… and usually that’s late at night. The same goes for some collaborators that I have that are in Europe – I’d rather send it out at night once I’ve finished. Then they may have the opportunity or option to go over it during their morning while I sleep. (Note: I don’t bother to reply or send late night professional emails on topics that can wait to be dealt with in the next morning though.)

This is also convenient for me to send these late night emails. I get up at a reasonable hour (usually 7-8 am), and work until 5 pm or so. I drive home (~30 min), decompress from the drama in the lab or group, hang out with my boys (human and dogs), eat dinner, and finally turn on my computer again and get back to work that needs to be done ASAP. The time gap between packing up at school and firing up the computer at home is anywhere between 3-4 hours. In the last month or so, I think all of the various proposal drafts that I was sending to FPA had a time stamp of 3 or 4 am (FPA’s local time zone). Now, I wasn’t trying to convince FPA that I am a diligent worker… that’s just the time schedule that I happen to do my work.

However, in my current group, there’s a post doc (former grad student in the group) who is constantly sending out emails day and night. Even the most mundane email, he will forward it to the whole group – all 15 of us. Last week, he forwarded the email sent by the university (which everyone gets) on the updated university rental car policy. Come on. The spamming is what the adviser does anyway — I don’t need to deal with another group spammer.  Not only is this member difficult to deal with in person, he is difficult by email. A few weeks ago, I specifically asked for information y from him and a couple of other post docs, and I had cc’ed this to the adviser (who had wanted me to get this information). He replied to all and proceeded to enlighten everyone that you do not need information y to perform task x. And of course, he would not provide information y. I was totally surprised by this. If he just handed over information y, we would be done. So I had to stoop to his level, reply to all, and explain to him how exactly you needed information y to do task x. He conceded and emailed only to me the information I originally (and specifically) asked for 2 days prior. Amazing. Lately, he has also been sending non-urgent emails at 11 pm – 1 am. Of course, these emails were sent to multiple group members and were along the lines of, “Thank you for taking care of the zebra 3 days ago!” or “Adviser, that is a great idea!”

I used to share an office with this member (6 months was too long), and I noticed he was constantly accusing other group members not working enough or not spending enough time at school. I don’t know how he spends 10-12 hours/day at school, and gets nothing of substance accomplished. That is impressive itself. He spends most of his time watching the local weather forecast of his home country, browsing through New Egg, skyping with his parents, and talking on the phone to various equipment vendors.

Based on his frequent emails which contain little to no substance and his constant berating of other post docs, I think he is trying to deflect attention from his own lack of accomplishments.