I can’t help but compare my situation to other people. I hated it when my mom did this while I was growing up. She constantly compared me to her friends’ children. Her reasoning was that it would motivate me to strive to better myself. I don’t think it really worked.
Now, I’m comparing my situation when I started as a graduate student in my current group.
Stipend
I compare how much my stipend was when I started… it was $1500/month as a graduate research assistant. Initially, I was okay with this since I made the assumption that the other 4 graduate students in the group made the same. Au contraire, mon ami! After about 6 months into it, I found out I was receiving the least amount with one other graduate student. Coincidently, this other student is Indian and I was mistaken as Indian for almost a year by my adviser and other European group mates. Should it matter if I was Indian? No. But maybe it did to them (and that is a post for another time). The other 2 graduate students were making at least $2000/month and one of them was about one semester ahead of me. I intended to bring this up to my adviser after the academic year (contract) ended, but he told me he would bump me to $2000/month. I know that he only raised my stipend because a post doc that I worked closely with came to bat for me often. I am grateful for this post doc still.
So what is the new starting stipend in the group? It’s anywhere from $2000 to $2500. It all depends on who you are. When one of the current graduate students started (he was a former undergraduate in the group), the adviser tried very hard to convince the post docs that this graduate student deserved $2000 instead of the $1500 (which at the time, the same Indian grad student was still making). The Indian grad student was able to operate equipment and perform experiments by himself, while the new grad student could not (even after doing 3 years as an undergraduate researcher). By the way, why did he need to convince other people? Unless he knew deep down this was fucked up.
Now, a new graduate student is starting next week, and she is getting a $2000 stipend. Nevermind that her bachelor’s degree has no overlap to the research we conduct, while mine did.
Big welcome to the group
When I joined a few years ago, I did not know anyone in the group — like most people who start in a research group at other universities. But this was highly unusual here. All the post docs (at the time) had all previously worked with the adviser years before, one of the grad students came from the adviser’s old group. Another grad student was already a grad student in the department for years before he switched advisers.
Looking back, the first few months in the group were tough for me. I remember my first day where I wandered to the lab and waited outside. I had sent emails to the adviser saying I was showing up before the start of the semester and they were still surprised when I was at the lab door. No one bothered to ask if the office was equipped. I had to buy my own ethernet cable and power strips at the local Fry’s. I brought in my private laptop regularly (and I still do). The adviser often told me he would support any computer-related purchases for me, but the member responsible for purchasing was non-cooperative (this is the same jerk from the email shrouds post). I was able to use an external monitor at the office because the post doc gave up his own (well, he got a new shiny one).
Now, the new grad student is sharing my office (which I share with another undergraduate). I came into the office Thursday morning noticing that something was out of place. Someone (I assume the adviser, or the emailing post doc) had asked the undergraduate to move his seat at a particular desk. I didn’t know that was a premium desk reserved for a graduate student. Other things set up for her arrival… the adviser already ordered the grad student (in charge of the group website) to add her to the page. Luckily, I will be out of town for the first part of next week so I will miss out on any other red-carpet events.
And maybe you think I am imagining things? Well, this sort of thing happens to post docs that join this group.
The current most-senior post doc started about 2.5 years ago. He graduated from another group in the US, and he himself is foreign (but not of the same continent that the adviser is from). That post doc and the adviser must have discussed his starting date because at one point, boxes from this post doc started arriving to the lab about a few weeks before his arrival. And when he finally got here? No one (the more senior people) had even thought about where his desk or office would be. The desk had to be hauled from university surplus that week. And computer needs? He didn’t get an adviser-bought computer until this time last year.
To contrast with a post doc that started last year. Days before his arrival, we (grad students) were asked to arrange/clean an office and set up a computer for his arrival. Within a few weeks of his arrival, he received a new laptop purchased by the adviser’s grants.
So what’s the difference between senior post doc and last year post doc? From appearances, the last year post doc came from the adviser’s old group, is of the same nationality and ethnicity, too. The senior post doc is US-educated (which the adviser looks down upon), and is from another continent. They both have Ph.D.’s in the same field as the adviser. What’s the difference between me and the new grad student? We are both female. I am not white, she is. I was mistaken for Indian. I have a bachelor’s in engineering from another university, she has bachelor’s in another physical science from here. Then you can ask maybe the funding situation is substantially different 4 years ago that the stipend can start higher? The funding is about the same as it was 4 years ago.
Anyway, I am constantly aware of how the adviser has treated me and others over the years. There’s not much that I can do about it. Maybe a lesson on how not to run a group?
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